


it's gay if it's on the moon

by donutcats



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), M/M, Overwatch - Freeform, and then friends making fun of those typos, as is normal for most group chats, copious amounts of typos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 05:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11845125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutcats/pseuds/donutcats
Summary: lance: I cant believe I'm dating a genji mainkeith: says the guy that has every one of mei's skinslance: mEI IS NOT THAT BADkeith: shE'S A FUCKING TROLL, AN ICE DEMON, JUST LIKE YOU





	it's gay if it's on the moon

**Author's Note:**

> this is super self indulgent, I have no explanations beyond 'I wanted to write the fam playing ovw and then it snowballed' so here you go. also, none of them have funny screen names or whatever because I'm just lazy. I didn't want to try and think of names for both the gc /and/ overwatch. i hope yall enjoy

_**-it's gay if it's on the moon-** _

**lance:**  I cant believe I'm dating a genji main

**keith:**  says the guy that has every one of mei's skins

**lance:**  mEI IS NOT THAT BAD

**keith:**  shE'S A FUCKING TROLL, AN ICE DEMON, JUST LIKE YOU

**lance:**  SHOCK AND OFFENSE

**pidge:**  MEI IS SHIT THEY STILL HAVENT PATCHED THAT ICE WALL GLITCH WHERE SHE CAN GET OUT OF THE MAP

**lance:**  MEI IS A FUCKING  _GOD_

**pidge:**  sometimes i remember keith doesnt main reaper and then im surprised

**hunk:**  right ??

**lance:**  bae might be emo but he's not some sort of Edgy Trope cmon

**keith:**  tru, plus genji has a knife why would i pass up Knife™

**pidge:**  while you were busy being heterosexual I studied the blade

**keith:**  pidge and i studied together

**lance:**  im fucking leaving  
 **lance:**  to go play ovw cus now i wanna 

**pidge:**  same tho

===

**_-overwatch group chat-_ **

**pidge:**  someone @shiro we need those salty heals

**lance:**  I’ll go ana til he can join

**hunk:**  shweet

**keith:**  oh man what will we ever do without a mei   
 **keith:**  mssged him btw  
 **keith:**  allura too so we can have full team

**lance:**  a) stFU keith   
 **lance:**  secondly, did we wanna go vc?

**pidge:**  i cant !! and im mad !!   
 **pidge:**  techincally I’m supposed to be studying and writing shit lolololol

**hunk:**  ovw is such a deadly siren tho

**keith:**  I think we’re the real deadly sirens

**lance:**  i mean

**keith:**  since none of us are trying to convince podge to do school

**pidge:**  podge

**lance:**  podge

**keith:**  I hate this family

**hunk:**  podge

\---

**lance:**  ult is ready

**keith:**  boost me

**lance:**  y

**keith:**  /my/ ult is ready

**lance:**  .......hnk get ready for nano boost

**hunk:**  my ult’s ready too  
 **hunk:**  once I respawn we can combo ult keith!

**keith:**  ur prejudice against genji is astonishing  
 **keith:**  at least hunk appreciates me

**lance:**  tbh i understand why hanjo killed his brother

**keith:**  mcfuckin rude

\---

**pidge:**  do u guys want tele or shields??

**lance:**  shields pls!!

**keith:**  shields

_[pidge has placed a teleporter]_

**lance:**  i hate u

**allura:**  dont go through tele, it's on a cliff  
 **allura:**  thank you for that pidge

**hunk:**  PIDGE

**pidge:**  can u hear me cackling

**keith:**  all yall suck

**hunk:**  all y’all

**pidge:**  Y'ALL

**lance:**  yALL  
 **lance:**  fUKC I WAS TOO BUST TYPING YALL ND I DIED

**keith:**  thats what u get  
 **keith:**  karma is a bitch

\---

**lance:**  i cant believe keef chose junkrat this round

**keith:**  nepal is prime junkrat real estate   
 **keith:**  dont call me keef

**lance:**  babe  
 **lance:**  /babe/  
 **lance:**  im gonna

**shiro:**  I think I’m gonna try zenyatta this round, I wanna get better at him tbh

**lance:** zen is perf for this team

**allura:**  Gay’s, into the iris

**hunk:**  unpopular opinion  
 **hunk:**  I feel odd not having a genji on our team

**pidge:**  feels bad op

**keith:**  !!!  
 **keith:**  I told you genji was a vital part of any team

**lance:**  shut the fuuuuuhhhk up keef

\---

**shiro:**  aye

**allura:**  Nice!!

**lance:**  mcfuckin yelling

**keith:**???

**hunk:**  you got potf man

**lance:** i h8 how u get potg even when ur not genji  
 **lance:**  nd u didn’t even nOTICE  
 **lance:**  i h8 u

**keith:**  I know  
 **keith:**  I'm just too mlg for you

**pidge:**  get on his level

**hunk:**  potg*

**lance:**  potf= play of the fUCK YOU

**hunk:**  that would have been potfy

**lance:**  I’m blocking you all

**keith:**  ;3c

**lance:**  esp keith

\---

**shiro:**  we should play a round where we all try each other's mains  
 **shiro:**  it’ll either be chaos or maybe we’ll learn something about each other  
 **shiro:**  I’m betting on chaos

**hunk:**  is this your way of trying to get lance to stop yelling about genji for 5min

**shiro:** maybe so

**lance:**  i refuse to touch genji with a 50 foot stick

**keith:**  same, I rlly dont wanna play mei

**hunk:**  I choose mercy

**shiro:**  zarya

**pidge:**  allura u pick sombra and tell me which one u want me to be

**allura:**  oooo yes I’ve been wanting to try sombra!  
 **allura:**  play tracer, i love playing her on kings row nd i think you’ll do rlly well!

**lance:** fukc u all

\---

**lance** : keith im breaking up with you

**keith:**  lamo

**lance:**  hE GOT POTG AS MEI   
 **lance:** thIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER  
 **lance:**  im gonna be junkrat fukc u all

**keith:**  good luck

**lance:**  fukc u espeically   
 **lance:** twice as hard

**keith:**  kinky

**pidge:**  my delicate child ears do not want to see that

**lance:**  uR 16 SHUT UR HELL UP

\---

**hunk:**  I want everyone to know that lance is currently crying, i can hear him from my room

**keith:**  ???  
 **keith:**  what why

**shiro:**  make sure he has tissues

**lance:**  POTG BINCHES, AS JUNKERS  
 **lance:**  EAT MY ENTIRE ASS

**hunk:**  he’s crying out of pure joy

**keith:**  why are you like this

**pidge:** lance, my child ears

**allura:**  hate to admit it but lance’s ult came in clutch at the end there

**lance:**  hATE ?? TO ADMIT IT ? LURA PLS  
 **lance:**  ok i think im gonna leave on that high note  
 **lance** : also ovw is starting to wear on me for today 

**shiro:**  big mood  

**hunk:**  that last game made me sweat 

**keith:**  no need to say bye when we’re just gonna open group chat in a minute anyways   
 **keith:**  btw lance I’m coming over

_[keith has logged out of overwatch]_

**lance:**  !!!!!

===

**-it’s gay if it’s on the moon-**

**lance:**   _[selfie of him and keith with the duo flower crown snapchat filter]_  
 **lance:**  I woke up like this  
 **lance:** flawless

**keith:**  we both know you didn’t wake up like that

**lance:**  uhm? rude?   
 **lance:**  u suck

**keith:** u suck more ??

**lance:**  why am i even dATING YOU

**keith:**  BITCH I DONT KNOW WHY ARE U

**lance:** IM RLLY STARTING TO WONDER MYSELF

**keith:** wHY DO I PUT UP WITH U

**pidge:**  those crazy kids are at it again   
 **pidge:**  I’m turning off notifs or else they’re bickering is going to distract tf outta me

**allura:**  can I ask why you’re messaging each other when keith is obviously with you?

**lance:**  UR JUST LIKE ?? THE WORST ??  
 **lance:**  keiths feelin a bit nonverbal thats all 

**keith:**  IF THERE’S ONE THING U WIN AT IT’S BEING THE WORST

**hunk:**  btw I just want everyone to know they're both currently laying on the floor of lance's room, cuddling and kissing

**lance:**  yOU FUCKING NARK

**keith:**  ratting us out

**lance:**  i trusted you hunk

**allura:** I hope you feel better keith!

**keith:**  I see how it is  
 **keith:**  thanks allura

**lance:**  im gonna kick hunks ass

**pidge:**  do u also kick puppies in ur free time damn lance

**keith:**  wait no, dont try and kick his ass   
 **keith:**  let me, i know martial arts  
 **keith:**  he'd be able to squish u like a bug

**lance:** bABE <3

**shiro:**  why would anyone fight hunk tho

**lance:**  me i’d fight hunk   
 **lance:**  as much as i love him, when u’ve known someone for half of ur life its v easy to say you wanna kick their ass

**shiro:**  you do have a point  
 **shiro:**  I always want to kick keith’s ass

**pidge:** can confirm  
 **pidge:** 100% always want to chuck matt’s ass to pluto on the daily 

**hunk:**  keith is now sitting in my bed, in the blankets and watching a funny cat video with me

**lance:**  a much more scandalized BABE than before

**keith:**  i couldn’t do it, its hunk cmon  
 **keith:**  only a monster would try to beat up hunk

**hunk:** lance is now trying to get into my bed w/ keith  
 **hunk:**  i made them leave because he hAS A ROOM DONT KICK ME OUT OF MINE

**pidge:**  this is amazing

**lance:**  keef and i are back home safe and sound

**keith:**  im gonna nap  
 **keith:**  lance, we're gonna nap

**lance:**  ok we're napping guys byeeeee

\---

**keith:**  I'm awake but at what cost

**pidge:**  bitch me too the fuck

**shiro:**  pidge....... language...... pls......

**pidge:**  binch me too the fack

**shiro:**  thats not  
 **shiro:**  ok

**hunk:** I thought you didn’t wanna be distracted pidge  
 **hunk:**  go back to your homework child

**pidge:**  shhhhhhhut

**keith:**  lance is still sleeping and im bored  
 **keith:**  im gonna try and cook something

**hunk:**  why?????  
 **hunk:**  im afraid for you, i might come out and help

**keith:**  tbh lance is like 80% of my impulse control at this point

**pidge:**  I never thought I'd see the day that Lance Mcclain was anyone's impulse control

**hunk:**  same tho

\---

**_keith_ >> _shiro_**

**keith:**  have you ever just looked at someone and like   
 **keith:** they're not even doing anything special but you still  
 **keith:**  you love them so damn much and if you don't tell them This Instant something's going to explode in your chest  
 **keith:**  killing you instantly

**shiro:**  what did lance do?

**keith:**  he woke up from his nap  
 **keith:**  kissed me on the cheek   
 **keith:**  told me i looked nice in his sweater   
 **keith:**  im so far gone and im dying shiro   
 **keith:**  i want a winter funeral, dark colored flowers, my selfie with the most likes can be used  
 **keith:** actually no I’ll link you the selfie i want used as the portrait thing dw

**shiro:**  you're honestly so damn adorable, I know you hate when I say that but you  _are_ , like you're so in love and I love hearing about it because you're so happy and i'm happy for you and !!!  
 **shiro:**  im just glad that you found something   
 **shiro:**  something you don't want to run from

\---

**_-it’s gay if it’s on the moon-_ **

**hunk:**  i'm eating my pizza in my room now, because after reading something on his phone keith started crying and now him and lance are saying how much they love each other

**pidge:**  i can't believe i missed that what the fuck

**shiro:**  that's good  
 **shiro:**  not the crying part, but the love part

**pidge:**  CURSE YOU 10 PAGE MINIMUM ESSAY BUT SINCE IM AN EXTRA BITCH I'M SHOOTING FOR 15 AHHHH   
 **pidge:**  or else i woulda Been there  
 **pidge:**  u know actually sometimes I’m concerned with how invested we are in our friends love lives tbh

**hunk:**  can’t relate

\---

**_lance_ >> _keith_**

**lance:**  ♡♡♡♡♡

**keith:**  ur literally laying next to me

**lance:**  i know, but it's late and i can't tell you "blue heart emoji" irl without sounding weird   
 **lance:**  i can say i love you but cmon  
 **lance** : 5 blue heart emojis have a certain feel, certain oomph

**keith:** large sigh   
 **keith:**  ♥♥♥♥♥

**lance:**  i saw u counting those out and honestly??   
 **lance:** i need to thesaurus dot com a diff word for adorable hold up

**keith:**  is held up

**lance:** charming  
 **lance:** nah  
 **lance:**  cute, darling, dear  
 **lance:**  delectable ;)

**keith:**  pls stop

**lance:** heavenly, luscious, pleasing  
 **lance:**  precious

**keith** : lance pls

**lance:**  it’s no use i can see you laughing  
 **lance:**  sexy, suave ;33c

**keith:**  oh my god stOP IT  
 **keith:** either u can keep looking for words to call me or u can put down ur phone and kiss me

**lance:**  otherworldly, rapturous, enchanting   
 **lance:**  ok i'm done ;*

**Author's Note:**

> btw if you're interested in which heros I hc the paladins main in ovw-
> 
> keith: genji, junkrat  
> lance: mei, mccree, (ana when shiro isn't around to heal)  
> pidge: symmetra, sombra   
> hunk: orisa, zarya  
> shiro: mercy, zenyatta  
> allura: tracer, pharah


End file.
